Just Another Girl
by LittleBlackStarz
Summary: Sara returns to San Francisco, only to be ushered back to Vegas when a baby is found abandoned outside the lab. Grissom and Sara investigate where the child came from, and what they discover will surprise everyone, especially Sara.
1. Changes

Just Another Girl

The cab pulled up to the airport just as night began. A midnight blue shroud draped itself over the sky, dotted with pale spots of light barely visible through the dense city lights. The attractions of Vegas could be seen coming out for the night, enticing visitors and residents alike to roam its lively streets. But one particular resident was about to board a plane that would take her away from this place, most likely for good. She could only hope that she was doing the right thing.

Sara stepped out of the cab and glanced around her, taking in Las Vegas one last time. She remembered the first time eight years before when she'd arrived in the city of sin, uncertain of what her future held for her. Now she was in the same situation, only this time she was leaving Vegas behind. She felt emotionally drained, all of her tears long cried and her mind numb from feeling. All she had left was the notion that she needed to escape.

The cab driver unloaded her suitcases and smiled at the large tip she gave him. Walking into the airport, she felt her entire life beginning to change.

She didn't want to think of Gil anymore. She was so tired and exhausted from it; all she wanted was a moment to relax and pretend that her life was not moving in such an unknown direction.

On the plane that night, Sara slept, her body and mind drained. Yet when she awoke a few hours later as the plane landed in San Francisco, she remembered her dreams, and how handsome Grissom had looked in them.

0 0 0

Gil Grissom promised himself he wouldn't think of her. Not tonight, anyways. What good would it do to remind himself that the woman he'd finally given his heart to had left, probably never to return. Not that she didn't have her reasons, none of them really having to do with him, but still. He couldn't quite understand why she didn't think that he could help her. Maybe he hadn't shown her enough of himself…enough for her to know that he wanted nothing more than to help her through the rough times, to care for her and love her unconditionally.

But he wouldn't think like that. Not tonight. Tonight was a night to simply rest. He hadn't planned on experiencing an emotional roller coaster that day, but he had nonetheless. He was upset about how depressed Sara was getting over the case of that Hannah girl, and then he was slightly embarrassed but also pleased by her publicly kissing him. And then she leaves that letter for him, explaining why she had to suddenly leave. That brought on an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time: utter and complete despair.

Gil sighed and leaned back in his chair, a warm cup of tea in his hands. He stared out at the night sky on his balcony, the stars barely visible through the lights of the city. A plane flew by overhead, and he toasted it on it's journey. Sara would be on her plane by now, on her way back to San Francisco. A part of him silently wished that he was leaving with her.

Sara had brought out so many emotions in him that he had never before experienced. Love, for one. No woman had ever touched his heart the way Sara had, nor gotten so close to do so. Most women simply tuned him out after awhile, deciding that he was too shy or too smart. But Sara appreciated his continuous quotes of famous poets and authors, because she too understood the insight to be had from the voices of the past.

Unfortunately, the voices of the past didn't seem to have an answer on how to feel when the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with decides to up and disappear. And that was where he lacked as a person, he thought sadly. Sara always knew how to decipher a situation and how to feel about it. But he was always lost.

But those were thoughts for other nights, he decided briskly. He wouldn't cloud his mind tonight when there was work to do. He had chosen his career over her once, and now he was being forced to do it again. Fortunately for Gil Grissom, losing himself in his work was never hard for him to do.

0 0 0

_Fall 1999 _

_He rubbed his tired eyes wearily. Lectures always took the most out of him, despite how much he enjoyed seeing students learn. The Berkeley lecture hall was one of his favorite places to visit and lecture, not only because of the students there but the atmosphere. Whenever he lectured at the Universities in Vegas he just didn't get the same response from the crowd. Here, he did. And that was reason enough to take a few weeks off to fly up to San Francisco and teach. It had become a second passion for him._

_As he made a move to gather up his books and paperwork, he glanced up as a young woman approached him inside the lecture hall. _

_"Mr. Grissom, can I speak to you for a minute?" She asked with a smile, her honey brown eyes alive with curiosity. Her shoulder length brown hair was wildly wavy, and she kept making motions with her hands to push the curls out of her eyes._

_"How can I help you?" He replied, smiling at her. _

_"My name is Sara, I was listening in on your lecture today, and I was wondering when you were scheduled to give another?"_

_He continued to smile. "Are you interested in working as a coroner?"_

_"Actually, I work for the coroners office in San Francisco currently, but I like to sit in on these lectures since they are so informative." Sara grinned, shifting her bag on her shoulder. "Your's is by far the most interesting I've heard, and I'd love to come listen to you again whenever you'll be back in town."_

_"I appreciate the compliment. I should be back next week, I'm doing a lecture on decomp analysis when insects are present. Would you be interested in that?"_

_"If you're giving the lecture, Mr. Grissom, I'm interested!" Sara replied excitedly. "I'll be there. Thank you for your time."_

_"Certainly." Grissom stared after the woman as she walked out of the hall, her smile still with him. _

_He always enjoyed hearing that students appreciated his lectures, but something about this woman seemed to be much more. She actually practiced what he was lecturing about, and really understood. And she was a woman! Not that he was sexist by any means, he thought with a chuckle. But to find a woman who had the same curiosity as him was very intriguing. _

_With that thought, he packed up his belongings and wandered outside to the campus, where in the distance he saw Sara sitting down with a girl friend, reaching into her bag for her lunch. _

_Yes, he thought, he couldn't wait to see her again._

0 0 0

He unlocked his front door and stepped inside, closing it quietly behind him. His dog padded in before him, waiting patiently for his master to release him of his leash. Gil unclipped the leash and patted the dog gently before standing up and resigning to collapse onto his sofa.

Exhausted, he sighed and remembered why he had stayed home in the first place. Work was no place to be when you were sick as a dog.

Suddenly, his cell phone on his coffee table began to ring. At first he considered not answering it, but after a few rings he picked it up. When he saw Sara's name on the caller ID he smiled.

"Hi." He answered, laying back on the sofa and stretching out his legs.

"_Hi, Gil." _Sara replied. "_How was work today?"_

Gil laughed. "It was decent…I'm still sick, you know."

"_You need to rest! Tell them not to call you in for another few days."_

"You know I can't do that." He answered, feeling slightly better at hearing her voice. "So how is everything? Are you settled in yet?"

"_For the most part…my stuff's still mostly in boxes but I just haven't been in the mood to unpack." _Sara paused. "_I'm going to go see my mother tomorrow."_

"What will you talk to her about?"

Sara sighed. _"I don't know, the usual I guess…I'm sure she'll want to hear all about you."_

"You tell her whatever you want, Sara. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear you're back in town."

"_Yeah…hopefully. I miss you, Gil."_

He felt his lips curve into a smile. "I miss you too."

0 0 0

Sara hated prisons. She hated being near them, in them, around them…just anything having to do with them. Probably because they had been a continuous part of her life since she could remember.

Seeing her mother was important to her, and she still liked to think that she maintained at least a decent relationship to the woman who'd sacrificed her own happiness to ensure her children were safe.

Her mother had always been there for her, at least emotionally. Even though Sara was young when her mother was convicted of murder and sent to prison, she still managed to stay in contact with her. Not that her foster parents weren't there for her, but she still needed her own mother.

Every year for her mother's birthday she would bring her an updated photo of herself, hoping that her mother would feel more connected with her daughter's life. Today wasn't her birthday, but Sara still felt it would make them both feel better if she brought some photos along.

The doors opened with a load buzzing sound, signaling a visitor. Sara was lead along to the conversation windows, where she took a seat and waited for her mother to enter.

She heard another buzz and watched as the inmates trudged in and took seats across from their visitors. When her mother sat across from her Sara smiled and reached for the bright yellow phone to her right, signaling for her mother to do the same.

Laura Sidle's long brown hair was slightly wavy like her daughters, her eyes a similar chocolate brown. She looked much older than her 58 years, and there were gray streaks beginning to weave their way into her hair. Her smile was still youthful though, at least to Sara, who had always considered her mother to be young at heart.

"Hi Mom." Sara said softly, reaching up and placing her hand against the glass that separated them. Laura did the same, their palms lining up almost perfectly.

"Hi baby…how are you?" Laura replied, smiling at her daughter.

"I'm okay…have been better, but okay." Sara responded with a laugh, trying to shrug it off. "How have you been holding up?"

"Oh, you know me. Same old, same old."

"I brought you some pictures…I know it's not your birthday but I thought I'd surprise you." Sara reached into her bag and pulled out the pictures, motioning to the guard to inspect them and take them to Laura on the other side of the wall.

A few minutes later the guard handed the pictures to Laura and she flipped through them excitedly.

"Oh, baby, it's you and Gil!" She giggled, turning the picture to show Sara. "You two are just lovely together."

Sara felt her heart drop. How could she tell her mother that she had abandoned him in Vegas?

"I've moved back to San Francisco." Sara said suddenly, startling her mother.

"What? Why?" Laura asked, setting the pictures down on the tabletop.

"I couldn't handle all the death anymore…it was time to move on, Mom…I mean I was there for almost eight years when I had only planned on being there for maybe two weeks."

"But you'd always told me that Vegas felt like home to you…that you were so happy there."

"I was…I really was." Sara replied with a heavy sigh. "And Gil, God Mom he was what made me the happiest that I've ever been. But I was just withering away from everything else, so I took charge of the situation and left."

Her mother smiled at her then. "Well you know that I'm the last person who will ever judge you for following your heart, baby. If this is what makes you happy, then it's for the best."

"That's just it Mom…I'm happy to be away from that city, but I miss him so much. I talk to him all the time, but it's just not the same…I hurt him badly. I'll never forgive myself for that."

"He forgives you, I know he does. That Gil is a very forgiving man. And a very understanding one. He knows that you'll come around sooner or later."

Sara laughed sarcastically. "And what if I never get over it? What if I can't find the courage to go back?"

"You will, baby." Laura said softly, holding her hand out to her daughter again. "When the time is right, you will."

0 0 0

It seemed like every Monday Gil was shuffling through mountains of paperwork. He didn't know how it happened, but without fail he could always expect to face dozens of messages and paperwork to be rifled through. It almost made him want to call in sick just to get away from it. But then he'd remember the reasons why he loved being a CSI in the first place, and realize that the paperwork was only a minor setback. How could he sit at home while there were crimes to be solved?

Sitting at his desk, he sighed and reached for the first paper on the huge stack in front of him. Reaching for his reading glasses, he put them on and began to read. After about three lines his vision began to blur and he realized he was probably too tired to do paperwork.

It would still be there in a couple hours anyways, he thought with a chuckle as he stood up and ventured out into the lab to see what his subordinates were up to.

He spotted Nick getting finger print results back, and noticed his casual flirting with the tech. Gil couldn't help but laugh and shake his head at the younger man's insistent chasing of the opposite sex. He couldn't remember ever being like that. He'd always been somewhat shy and nerdy, sticking to faithful books and science.

Women seemed to gravitate to him more than he gravitated to them; like Lady Heather and Sofia. While he'd been somewhat interested, those women had never really captured more than just physical attraction from Grissom. Only Sara had become intimate with him on an intellectual level.

He realized then just how much he missed her being in the lab. Whenever he'd had a sudden idea, Sara was always the first person he'd run to tell it to. While the other CSI's would listen and most likely understand what he was thinking, Sara was the only one he could trust to never judge him for it and to really appreciate his insight.

Sara, unlike most of the other crew, appreciated his rambling quotes of Shakespeare and Keats and understood how it related to the matter at hand, while the other CSI's merely rolled their eyes.

That, he decided with a sigh, was something he greatly missed.

As he turned the corner, he nearly crashed into a hectic looking Catherine, who had been racing through the halls at way too fast a pace.

"Gil!" she exclaimed, her eyes going wide. "Gil, something's happened."

Sudden worry clenched his gut. "What is it?"

"Someone left a baby in a little basket on the front steps of the lab!"

Relief hit him in a smooth wave. No one was hurt. That was always his greatest fear, since he acted like a father to most of the CSI's.

"Does anyone know where it came from?"

"_She_ just appeared out of no where. No one saw anyone come by or leave…but Gil, there's something really weird about this one."

"What could be weirder than abandoning a baby on the front steps of a crime lab?" Gil joked, and by the annoyed look in Catherine's eyes realized it was uncalled for.

"There was a letter in the basket…whoever wrote it wants Sara Sidle to take care of her."

0 0 0

That's all for now…….more to come very soon!! Thanks for reading!! 3


	2. Miracle

Sara had never experienced a longer plane ride than her trip back to Vegas. She sat on the plane, nervous as a cat, wondering why the hell a baby was waiting for her when she landed.

Grissom hadn't specified much when he'd called her only two days before. He just insisted that she fly out to Vegas as soon as possible to see the child for herself. But even now as her plane was descending onto the runway, she couldn't think of an explanation.

Who did she know who had a few month old baby? She had no friends or family in Vegas who would have a child of that age, at least not that she knew of. And who would consider her fit to raise a child? She was the least stable person she knew, and probably the last who should ever take care of a baby. When would she find the time and energy when her own life took so much out of her?

When the plane landed and taxied into the terminal, Sara's heart began to pound in her chest. Gil would be waiting for her, ready to take her back to the lab where Catherine was waiting with the baby.

She found herself once more feeling so incredibly lost. Her life had never seemed to be in so many pieces all at once; she had her life in Vegas which she had intended to give up, but then also her life in San Francisco which she had barely begun to live. If there was a God, Sara had no idea what plan he had for her.

And then she saw Gil.

She left the plane and walked towards him, suddenly content with life. Maybe there was a plan for her, and maybe this was it. Maybe this would be a change for the better, for once.

"Sara." Gil reached out to hug her, a broad smile on his face. Oh, how she'd missed him.

"Gil." She responded, holding him tight to her. She could feel his breath on her neck, and the sensuality of it sent chills down her spine. When he pulled away to look into her eyes, she felt all of her defenses melt away.

"How was the flight?" He asked conversationally, suddenly a little awkward at the public display of affection. His hands came to rest at her elbows, a habit he'd always had when talking with her: affectionate, but not overly so.

"Fine, fine..." She replied, sighing. "Do I really have to do this?"

"Yes." He smiled at her, reaching out to touch her cheek. "She's a beautiful little girl, you'll be instantly charmed."

"A girl...Gil, what am I going to do with a baby?"

Still smiling, he turned and lead her out of the terminal. "Time will tell, Sara."

000

Walking back into the Las Vegas Crime Lab was like returning to an old friend, Sara thought happily. She didn't realize how much she'd missed everyone until she saw them again.

Nick and Greg hugged her enthusiastically, grinning like fools. Warrick reached out to shake her hand professionally, then laughed when Sara pulled him into a warming hug.

When she was lead back into Grissom's office, Sara saw Catherine sitting at the desk chair, a small bundle in her arms. Sara felt her stomach turn with anxiety.

"Hey..." Sara said softly as she walked over to Catherine, her eyes fixated on the child. The other woman eyed her curiously as she lifted the baby into Sara's arms.

"She's all yours now." Catherine backed away and began rustling through some paperwork on Grissom's desk, almost as though to give Sara a second of privacy with the child.

Ocean blue eyes stared up at Sara, deep pools clear as tropical water and just as vibrant. She was instantly mesmerized by this tiny creature, her ivory skin soft as down and her little wisps of hair chocolate brown. Miniature fingers reached out to grab a hold of a lock of Sara's hair, tugging gently as her little face hardened with concentration. A smile instantly curved over Sara's lips.

"She's perfect." She whispered, mostly to herself, still lost in the wonder of life resting comfortably in her arms. Something about the little girl felt natural to Sara, as if the baby were her own. Maybe she could be. No, Sara thought, there was no way she was ever going to let this child go, not now.

"Sara." Gil placed a hand on her elbow, bringing her out of her reverie. "I want you to take a look at the letter that was left with her...maybe you can make some sense out of it."

"Right." Sara replied, suddenly awkward. She glanced around nervously, looking for a place to lay the child down. Catherine motioned to a small, makeshift crib next to the desk. Sara placed the baby down gently, as though she were made of glass. When Sara turned to walk away the little girl let out a soft cry.

Gil smiled. "She already misses you."

Sara's eyes filled. "What a strange feeling."

She was led out into the lab, where one of the techs was checking the letter for fingerprints. Sara stared numbly at the piece of paper, clean as can be with no trace of it's previous owner.

"Leave us." Gil ordered the tech quietly, and with a nod the young man left the room. The letter was about a paragraph long, written on a tiny piece of blank white stationary. The words were handwritten, the letters long and elegantly curved. She didn't recognize it, but knew it to be typical of both men and women, which didn't narrow their search one bit. Biting her lip nervously, she began to read.

_To CSI Sara Sidle,_

_It has been a long time since we last met, but I still remember your face. You are the last kind person I know of left on this planet, and the only one I trust with the life of my child. Please do not worry yourself over who I am, because you don't need to know. Just know that I leave her with you knowing that you will love her and give her the home she deserves...the home I cannot provide her with. Take care, Sara, you deserve the best._

Sara eyes were filled with uncertainty. Feeling resigned, she sat down wearily on the stool beside her and read the letter a few more times.

"Does it ring any bells? Remind you of anyone?" Gil asked, watching her carefully. When she only shook her head and continued to stare at the letter, he bit his bottom lip in thought.

"It could be anyone." Sara said suddenly, looking into his eyes. "I mean, it could be someone from an old case who felt a connection to me, or someone I used to live with...it could be a distant relative...I have no idea."

"Maybe we should start with the most obvious." Gil began, reaching for a piece of paper and a pen. "Write down the names of the women from your most recent cases, along with any girl friends who live in Vegas. It's got to be one of them, so we'll just start there."

The pen felt heavy in her hand as names ran through her mind.

There was her old friend Tiffany, but hadn't Tiffany moved back to Washington more than 6 years before? Couldn't be her. Or there was Miranda, but she was happily married with two kids already. Sara nearly screamed in frustration.

"Gil, this is impossible." Sara sighed, pushing the paper away from her. "We can't just go interrogate all these women. And besides, the author of that letter doesn't want me to find her, end of story."

"And I know you, Sara. You will never be able to raise that child not knowing where she came from." Gil reached for her hand and held it tight. "And neither can I."

She looked up from their joined hands to gaze into his calm, blue eyes. Sara hadn't even thought about that. Did Gil want to raise the child with her? Obviously, the child should have a father...and Sara didn't think she could raise the child at all let alone by herself.

"Gil..." She said softly, unsure of what else to say.

Slightly embarrassed, Grissom merely squeezed her hand before releasing it of his grasp. "Forget I mentioned it. Why don't you take the night to just relax, and we'll return to this topic tomorrow?"

Sara nodded slowly, standing up to follow Gil out of the lab. This was definitely an unexpected change, Sara thought sadly. But the thought of marrying Grissom, raising this beautiful baby girl...it all just seemed too perfect. And she had never felt that she was worth being blessed with such a happy ending.

000

_Summer 2000_

_Gil smiled as he watched Sara take a tentative sip of her coffee, wincing as the hot liquid scorched her lips._

_"Why do they have to make coffee so hot?" She laughed, setting her cup aside to cool. She replaced it casually with the hand of the man who sat across from her._

_"Probably so lawyers can make money off of lawsuits." Gil mused, enjoying the music of laughter as it poured out of her. She was so fascinating to him, everything about her. From her gorgeous smile to her generous eyes...not to mention the warmth she seemed to radiate. He had never felt that from anyone before._

_"Tell me about it." Sara leaned back in her chair, gazing at a small child who sat with his mother. The little boy was dangling from his chair, clearly bored out of his mind. His bright green eyes were filled with a childhood curiosity she envied, and she smiled warmly when he grinned toothily at her. She watched as he reached for a toy firetruck out of his mother's purse and began to drive it across the table, chair leg, even his mother's arm, all the while making siren noises. His mother smiled and shushed him, reminding him to respect that other people were around. He pouted a little but resumed his game, his tone a little softer this time._

_"Aren't children simply fascinating?" Gil said suddenly, taking Sara's attention away from the young boy. She smiled at him, and he felt his heart beat a little faster. _

_"Yes, they certainly are." She returned her attention to the boy, who was now resting his head on his mother's lap, clearly tired of his game. "I gave up on the idea of ever having a child...it just seemed like the prime age to raise one came and went a long time ago."_

_"I don't necessarily believe that." Grissom put in, intrigued. "I think that a person of any age over maybe 25 is fit to raise a child...all it requires is love and patience."_

_"Yeah, that's easy for you to say." Sara mused. "You're a man. Men can still procreate well up until their 70's and 80's...women, on the other hand, lose the ability to do so safely when they reach 45."_

_"You are years away from 45, Sara." _

_She laughed. "True. But still, who am I to raise a child? I still haven't raised myself yet!"_

_"I think you'd make a wonderful mother." He replied seriously. He reached for her hand again, and wondered at how the skip of her pulse aroused him so much._

_Sara couldn't think of what to say. Her lips parted softly as she stared at him, suddenly aware of the naked desire in his eyes._

_"If only you knew, Gil." She said softly, a worried look coming into her eyes as she tried to forget his words. "If only you knew who I really am."_

_Casually, he raised one of her hands to his lips. "One day you'll let me in, Sara."_

000

When night fell Sara stood over the small crib they had purchased for the baby and watched her sleep. They had moved the crib and any baby supplies donated by the lab over to Grissom's townhome, that way Sara could take care of the baby as the letter intended. Not that she would even dream of giving the little girl up, Sara thought with a sigh. She was the image of perfection in every way, and Sara felt so connected to her.

Sleep eventually crept its way into Sara's eyes as well, so she laid down on the bed beside the crib and fell instantly asleep.

The next day Sara rode with Gil to the lab, fresh and ready to begin their investigation. She carried the baby with her in a carseat cradle Catherine had given her, surprised as everyone at how quiet and good tempered the child was.

"I think we should focus first on past cases, Sara." Gil suggested as they sat down to read over the letter one more time. The basket the child had been found in had been completely examined, revealing nothing. No hairs other than the child's, no fingerprints, nothing. This person clearly understood their job and what they would do in order to uncover the truth.

"Well, there's the most recent of mine, Hannah, but she was definitely not pregnant the last time I saw her and that was only a few months ago."

"Who was before Hannah?" Gil asked, trying to think back himself.

"Terry Wicker." Sara muttered, feeling suddenly cold. She had taken the case of the revengeful rapist really hard, especially since he got away. "But I never really got that close to any of the people involved in that case, and most of them are dead now anyways..."

Grissom thought for a moment. "Yes, I suppose we can rule that one out."

"What about Lady Heather?" Sara said thoughtfully, looking up from the letter. "She could have possibly had a baby...and maybe the whole ordeal about custody over her granddaughter made her feel like an unfit parent."

Gil's eyes darkened and he averted his gaze. "It's not Lady Heather."

"How can you be so sure?" Sara retorted, an unexpected wave of jealousy rushing through her. "It could be anyone, Gil, even her."

"Lady Heather did not do this." He said simply, reaching for the letter. Sara handed it over to him bitterly.

"I just don't understand why you refuse to believe it could be her."

"Because she underwent tubal ligation...she had her tubes tied. She can't have anymore kids." Gil responded sharply, turning his full attention to examining the letter. Sara's lips parted in surprise. Of course Gil would know that detail...he'd been closer to Lady Heather than any of the other CSI's.

"I see." She said softly, feeling suddenly foolish. Damn her temper, she thought angrily. Why did she have to feel jealous and angry over someone as insignificant as Lady Heather? Probably because Gil had a soft spot for the dominatrix, if only because her strange lifestyle fascinated him. Sara just wished she didn't feel so plain next to the astonishingly beautiful other woman.

"Well, then I guess we're still at square one..." Sara groaned, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"At least we've narrowed it down." Gil smirked, cupping Sara's elbow in his palm affectionately. She smiled up at him and suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. His eyes stared into hers, the blue of them the most beautiful she'd ever known. How boring her own brown eyes must be in comparison to his.

"Gil..." She whispered, tilting her head up until their lips nearly touched. "I-"

"Gil, I need you to take a look at-" Hodges walked in, nose buried in his notes, only to glance up just as Gil and Sara were about to kiss. Blushing beat red, he smiled awkwardly. "Looks like I'm always around when the office flirting is going on." He said with a chuckle. The look Grissom gave him was almost murderous.

"Hodges, don't you have work to do?"

"Yes, yes." Hodges replied nervously, about to turn and race back to his lab. But then he turned around to face his superior. "Actually, correct me if I'm wrong...and with all do respect, Sir, but I was walking in here to speak with you _about_ work but you were indisposed about to kiss Ms. Sidle, which frankly has nothing to do with work and-"

"Just go, Hodges." Grissom cut him off, a hint of anger in his voice. Feeling his defeat, Hodges turned tail and shut the door quickly behind him. Grissom sighed deeply, the moment ruined.

"That's unlike you." Sara said suddenly, causing Grissom to stare at her with a confused look in his eyes.

"What is?"

She bit back the urge to laugh. "You used to never put me before work...if this had happened six months ago you would have pushed me away gladly to find out what Hodges had discovered in trace."

"You underestimate my romantic nature, Sara." He said, reaching out a hand to cup her face. "But I guess you're right, and it's not that I didn't want to hear what Hodges had to say...I just felt that this was much more important."

With that he leaned in and kissed her sweetly, so gentle it left a soft smile on her lips when he pulled away.

"You're right, that was much more important."

000

After the work shift, they arrived back at Gil's town home and shuffled hastily inside. Sara felt exhausted. Hours of working names and faces over in her head had produced little to no result. There was no one she could think of who could have possibly had a baby and left her for Sara to care for.

She walked straight to the bed and placed the child in the crib. The little girl had barely cried all day, and had eaten and accepted her bottle just fine. Sara had always thought that babies were so much work, but this one just seemed to be so patient and sweet.

Turning towards her own bed, Sara fell face down, spreading her arms and legs over the soft fabric. She heard Gil enter the room behind her and begin to change into more comfortable clothes. When he climbed into bed next to her, he leaned over to brush the hair from her face.

"You asleep yet?" He asked playfully, smiling as she turned over and groaned.

"I'm so tired..." She yawned, stretching her long arms and arching her back. Gil's eyes traced the outline of her back down to her hips, and he felt his blood begin to race.

"It has been a long day." He replied, stroking her cheek softly. She smiled at him.

"Are we going to make any headway on this case?"

He pulled his hand away and laid down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't think we're looking in the right place...at the right people..." He wondered aloud. Sara propped herself up on her elbow in order to see him better.

"Let's worry about it tomorrow...I feel like I'm going to pass out from exhaustion any minute now."

"You never told me how your mother is doing." Gil said suddenly, crossing his arms behind his head.

"Oh, she's doing fine...she says to tell you hello." Sara laughed, silently pleased that her mother and her lover, though neither had met, seemed to respect and genuinely like each other. "She also said she heard from my brother recently."

"Sara, you never told me you had a brother." Gil sat up, suddenly serious.

"Oh, well I haven't seen him in many years...I don't even know where he lives or what he does. We went to different foster families when we were young and I only saw him a few times after that."

Gil was suddenly silent, and Sara had to squeeze his arm to shake him from his thoughts. "What is it?" She asked, slightly worried at the dark look in his eyes.

"I think we need to take a DNA test of the little girl."

"What? Why?" Sara asked, turning his cheek so he would focus on her.

"It's a possibility that the child is your brother's."

000

Thank you for all of the reviews!! Hopefully this chapter answered a few questions for you...and hopefully it raised some more!! There's definitely more to come... :)


	3. Despair

Her brother? Sara thought incredulously. Could it be possible? She sat up and glanced over at the sleeping child in the crib, and felt a pain she had never before experienced.

Would Jonathon Sidle, who she had been estranged from for so many years, actually think of her like this? She tried to remember how much she knew about the man who shared her blood and couldn't come up with much. She recalled that he had similiar features as her, the dark brown hair and eyes, and that he was somewhat shy.

"What exactly did your mother tell you about him?" Gil asked, trying to gain her attention.

"She said Jon had dropped by to see her only a few months ago, and that he felt that his life was about to turn around for the better. He wouldn't go into details, but she said he looked great, healthy and happy."

Sara stood up and looked closely at the little girl, taking in her features. Are you my niece, little one? She thought, feeling even more close to the child than ever before.

"It makes sense though, Sara." Gil put in, excitement shining on his face as he mentally explored the situation. "You haven't seen him in many years, just like the letter said. You're the only true family he has, other than your mother. And when your mother saw him a few months ago, that must have been when she was just born, so he would have been happy."

"What could have happened in such a short amount of time to make him give her up?" Sara asked. She walked away from the crib and sat back down on the bed, her eyes focusing on Grissom. "I need to find him," she said suddenly, a wild determination coming into her eyes. "Maybe I can help him."

0 0 0

Sara gently ran the swab around the baby's inner cheek, tickling the girl lightly to keep her entertained. Smiling, Sara placed the cover on the swab and leaned in to place a tender kiss on the girl's forehead. The very thought of being so affectionate with the young child brought a happiness to Sara that she had never felt before, even though the thought of maybe having to return her to her father once they found him distressed her.

What if they found Jonathon Sidle, and he suddenly decided to take his child back? Sara pushed the thought aside and decided to think about it another time. Why cloud her already determined mood with thoughts of future regrets?

"Greg, can you please run the DNA on this for me." Sara said cheerfully as she entered the lab. Greg smiled at her.

"What should I be comparing it to?" He asked as he began to prepare the process for the cheek swab.

"This." Sara said matter-of-factly as she yanked a hair out of her head. She handed the hair to Greg and laughed inwardly at his inquisitive look. "Let me know the instant you find out if it's a match, okay?"

"Alright..." Greg replied, raising his eyebrows and turning back to his work.

Satisfied, Sara walked down the hall towards Grissom's office, pleased to see him alone.

"Greg is processing the DNA right now." She said softly, sitting down across from him.

"Great." Grissom glanced up briefly, then returned to his paperwork. After about a minute of silence he suddenly spoke. "I tried your brother's name in the system."

"Oh, did anything come up?" Sara asked, worried by the distance he seemed to be keeping with the subject.

"He lives in Bakersfield, and is working as a security guard at a local mall." Grissom sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes wearily.

"That's good...explains why his name came up." Sara said softly, feeling more and more uneasy at Grissom's words. "Did it say anything else?"

"Sara..." Gil continued, opening his eyes and focusing on her. His brows creased together with worry. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your brother is dead."

Sara felt her heart drop. "What?" She whispered, suddenly sick to her stomach.

"He committed suicide the day after we found the girl." Grissom replied, his heart aching at the sight of Sara in distress.

Sara's eyes dropped to stare at her hands. She had expected her brother to be in a bad state, but nothing could have prepared her for this. Feeling extremely uncomfortable, she stood up, her eyes falling to Grissom's worried face.

"I'm going to go home, get some rest..." She said quietly. Gil simply nodded and handed her his housekey.

"I'll be home in a couple hours." He replied. She turned around to leave and just as she was at the door he spoke again. "If you need me, I can leave now. Work can wait."

With a weak smile she turned to face him once more. "I'll be fine. Stay, and I'll see you later."

"Okay." He responded with a sigh as she left.

He stared at the door for another few minutes after she had gone, wishing there was more that he could do for her. But this was something she had to deal with herself; something she would want to handle on her own.

Feeling extremely helpless, Grissom returned to his work and silently wished the world was an kinder place.

0 0 0

Sara stared blankly out into the night sky, trying to make out the stars through the thick layer of smog that seemed to always hang over the city. She felt numb inside, and had yet to cry a single tear over her brother.

It wasn't that she didn't feel sorrow over Jon's death; he was still her brother. But at the same time he was nothing more than a memory to her. If anything, her mother was the only reason Sara ever heard any news of her brother, since he had rarely ever contacted her on his own.

She felt a sudden chill race over her. It would be up to her to tell their mother. Sara closed her eyes tightly to will away the feeling of dread that washed through her. How could she tell her mother something like this?

And the child! Oh, if the child was really his, how would Sara ever explain this to her? She shook her head furiously, trying to forget everything. Why had she ever come back? Why did any of this have to happen, just when her life was already falling apart?

Taking a deep breath, she made a set decision. She would not worry over these things, but would rely on her inherent instinct to simply survive. It was what she did best after all...like that night in the desert. Without her will to survive, Sara would have certainly perished.

She rose from her chair and walked over to where the baby lay quietly, her little fingers gently gripping a stuffed bear Nick had given her. Sara couldn't help but smile.

The child was so beautiful...so innocent. How could Sara ever let her be touched by such a tragedy?

"You will have all the happiness in the world." She whispered softly as she lifted the girl out of the crib, holding her in her arms. "I'll make sure of it."

When Grissom returned to his town home that night, he found Sara lying in bed, the baby fast asleep in her arms. Sara dozed as well, her breathing slow and heavy. His heart stopped for an instant. He realized that he had finally discovered paradise, and this was it.

Sara and the child, who Greg had informed him was definitely related to her, were everything he could have ever wanted. But a fear resided within him, a fear that had started ever since Sara had left the first time.

She wasn't happy in Vegas. Sara needed to get away from this place, to find her own happiness. And he simply felt that he couldn't leave, not when he had laid so many roots here. And so he feared that Sara, now knowing the truth, would simply leave again, most likely with the child, and would probably never return.

The very thought of it destroyed him inside. All of the pain and anger he had felt while reading her letter all those weeks ago had subsided after awhile. But the utter desperation he had felt over the thought of losing her stuck with him. Gil knew that he could never hold her back against her will, and that trying to convince her to stay would be simply selfish. He needed to let her go, let her leave with the paradise he had so recently uncovered. A paradise he knew he would never, ever find again.

0 0 0

_October 2000_

_The plane landed a bit roughly on the dusty runway of McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas, startling Sara as she adjusted herself in her seat. She'd never cared much for planes or flying, no matter how safe they claimed it to be. Give her a car and a map any day, she thought with a smile._

_But then again, the idea of driving the lonesome highway to Vegas scared her a little too. You never knew if a car could hold up in such conditions._

_Her eyes stared out of the window, the desert scenery a far cry from the metropolitan San Francisco she was used to. She could see the Vegas skyline in the distance, soaring hotel sky scrapers cutting through a thick layer of smog. _

_Great, she thought with a sigh. My health will improve loads by being here. _

_When the plane pulled up to the terminal, she reached for her purse and carry-on bag and departed with the other passengers._

_Later, when she finally settled down in her taxicab which would take her to visit Grissom, she would make a mental note to take a night flight instead, as to avoid the mad rush of people coming into Vegas. Never in her life had she thought she'd get trampled in an airport, but apparently parents with screaming children and gambling addicts didn't care if you were in their way, they simply pushed through._

_When her cab pulled up to a tall hotel building, Sara stepped out and noticed a crowd of people standing around an open area. What looked like bodies lay strewn across the asphault, contorted as though they had fallen from the roof of the buildling._

_As Sara got closer she realized the bodies were merely dummies, and she smiled as she saw Gil Grissom walking amongst them, making notes to himself._

_"Norman fell," he muttered, taking a picture of the dummy, it's leg twisted and body mangled._

_Sara felt her lips curve in a smile. "Wouldn't you if you were married to Mrs. Roper?" She asked, pleased as he straightened at her words._

_"I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle."_

_"That's me!"_

_That night Sara sat across from Gil at his town home, a glass of wine in her hand. "So tell me how you're doing out here in the desert, Gil." she said, her lips curving into a smile._

_"I think it suits me." He replied, sipping his own wine thoughtfully. "The climate is a bit too much for me, but you get used to it after awhile. But the atmosphere just never gets old, never gets boring. It's absolutely fascinating."_

_"I see..." Sara let her gaze drift to the window. "It is...different here."_

_"I've been so stressed out lately, Sara." Gil said suddenly, the urge to reach out and hold her hand nearly getting the better of him. "I'm finding myself doubting my own team, the people who I normally admire more than anyone."_

_As if reading his mind, Sara reached for his hand and held it softly. "I understand. You think you know someone and then they do something so out of character that it destroys your perception of them, if only for a short while. Just don't forget human nature, Gil. No one is perfect, and mistakes are made all the time, even by those we care about."_

_He seemed to relax at her words, his thumb lazily stroking the inside of her palm. For a few moments they sat quietly, their eyes fixated on their joined hands. When Sara's eyes looked up and held his own, he felt his blood race._

_"Maybe it's the wine, but..." Sara began, leaning over the table towards him, ever so slightly. "I have been wanting to do this all day."_

_With that she moved in and captured his mouth with her own, the kiss deepening as he leaned in to her as well. Her lips parted, allowing him to explore deeper the sensation of her lips on his own. Suddenly, she stood up and, their lips still touching, moved to sit on his lap. His hands came up to grip her waist, then began to trail up her back. She moaned softly as his lips found her neck, sending sweet chills through her body. _

_The scent of her drove him wild. He couldn't resist the urge to taste every inch of her skin, just because it was there. He gripped Sara's rich brown hair with one hand and took his fill of her mouth once more. When she moved to unbutton his shirt his hand shot up to stop her._

_"Sara." he said softly, his heart racing as he stared into her eyes, the passion in them scorching hot. At his hesitation, she pulled away slowly, suddenly aware of the inappropriateness of their actions._

_"I-I'm sorry." She apologized, feeling extremely foolish. She turned from him and walked to the balcony, stepping out into the night air. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her furiously beating heart and forget the sheer lust she felt for him._

_Gil sat for a moment, unsure of what action to take. Part of him cursed and spit and screamed, calling him a fool for stopping what almost happened. He wanted her afterall, he had wanted her ever since they had met. What a fascinating woman and to embrace her in that way...God, sometimes the very idea of it consumed his every waking thought. But then the other part of him, the practical, professional part, reminded him that she was only here on business, and that getting intimately involved with her could compromise the investigation she was there to conduct. With a sigh, he stood up and walked out to her on the balcony._

_As Sara stood with her back to him, he took in every curve and nearly gave in again. "Sara, I apologize."_

_"No, Gil, I should be apologizing." Sara turned, completely embarrassed. "I overstepped the boundaries, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again."_

_Grissom smirked. "It takes two for a kiss like that."_

_Sara laughed and stepped towards him, reaching out to hold his hand. "I promise I will resist my urges and practice the utmost professionalism around you."_

_"That's probably for the best." Gil agreed, only to lean in and place a soft kiss on her cheek. "But I promise that if you do give in, from time to time, that I won't tell anyone."_

0 0 0

That's all for now, everyone!! Thanks again for all of the reviews, I appreciate them all very much! And don't worry, I have plenty more answers coming to you all about Sara's brother and what happened to him...along with more about the baby!! More to come, very soon :)


	4. Answers

Grissom watched Sara carefully as she sat on the phone, running a hand through her hair anxiously. The second they had arrived at the lab the next day, Sara was on the phone trying to get in touch with the Bakersfield police department so that she could find out any information about her brother.

She looked tired, really tired, but Grissom knew that once she had answers Sara would finally accept the child as her own.

He glanced over at the little girl, who sat quietly in her carrier, her eyes gazing around curiously. He smiled and, realizing he'd caught her attention, waved at her.

The little girl smiled broadly, her bare gums showing through her tiny pink lips. Her bright blue eyes stared up at him as she raised her arms up, pleading for him to hold her.

Suddenly awkward, he smiled at her once more and turned to leave, pretending not to hear her little whimper as he walked away.

He had never been very good around children, he thought sadly. It wasn't that he didn't find himself charmed by the little girl, because he really did adore her. But he was afraid of getting so close to her, only to have Sara leave again. If losing one person you loved was hard, losing two was even worse.

Sara looked up as Gil walked away, and then glanced down to see the child with a pout on her face. Her heart went out to the little girl. Honey, I've been there too, Sara thought with a half laugh. She'd spent the better part of 6 years watching Gil Grissom smile and then walk away, leaving her with an aching heart.

Suddenly a voice spoke over the other line on the phone as the leading cop on the case picked up. She had been waiting on hold for nearly 30 minutes.

"Hi, yes, this is Sara Sidle, I'm the sister of Jonathon Sidle." Sara began, pausing to see if the officer would recognize the name. When he didn't say anything, she continued. "He committed suicide about a week ago, I was told you were the lead officer on the case."

"Oh, yes." The cop replied, his voice deep with just a hint of southern twang. "I'm real sorry for your loss, ma'am."

"Yes, thank you. I was curious if you had any information about his wife or girlfriend…I'm trying to locate her."

"Hmm…if I remember right, this one didn't have any close friends or a girlfriend, and we were told he didn't have any family except a mother in prison."

"Yes, well, we were both adopted by different families when we were young, so I wouldn't be on his records." she replied hastily, annoyed with the answer he had given her. "Are you sure that no woman came forward to ID the body or anything? Because I have a baby girl here with my brother's DNA and I have no idea who the mother is."

"Oh, damn, that's terrible." He replied, his voice serious. "We never heard anything about a baby."

"Can you get me access to his apartment lease? Perhaps the mother of this child was listed on there." Sara interrupted, her mind racing. She had to be able to get something out of this cop.

"That's something I can do." He replied, putting her on hold for a few minutes. When he returned to the phone, he began to read the lease that had been copied and stored on file after Jonathon's death. "It says here that a Ms. Heidi Nelson rented the apartment with Mr. Sidle."

"Great, can you look her up in the system for me, see if she comes up?" Sara asked, suddenly feeling as if they were getting somewhere. The cop complied and she could hear painfully slow typing on the other side of the phone.

"Ah, here we go." he said after a few minutes. "Oh, hmm…"

"What is it?" Sara asked wildly, her heart racing.

"Says here Ms. Nelson drove her car off a bridge about a month ago."

For the second time in two days, Sara felt her heart drop.

"Was it ruled as intentional?"

"Yes, looks like it was ruled as suicide."

Why would this woman have committed suicide? Doesn't having a baby make women happy? Sara knew that she was much happier now that the little child was in her life…

"Does it give any more information?" Sara nearly pleaded, needing some kind of explanation.

"Actually, the lead detective on this case did put something down. Says here she was seeing a doctor for post-partum depression."

"Alright." Sara said, an odd feeling coming over her. "Thank you for your help, Detective…"

"Detective Marsh," He replied, and she could almost see him tipping his hat to her. "You're very welcome, Ms. Sidle."

With that she hung up the phone and laid her head down on her arms. Her body felt numb and her eyes stung with tears. Not so much tears of sadness, even though the whole situation broke her heart. Instead she felt oddly…happy.

The child was hers now. No one could ever come and take her away. With that Sara sat up and looked at the little girl, who had fallen asleep, her soft eyelashes fluttering softly.

Standing up, she walked to where the girl was laying and lifted her into her arms. She continued to sleep as Sara placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I guess it's time to give you a name, little one." She smiled, feeling tears fall down her face. "Now that you're mine…"

The little girl's eyes fluttered open slowly, and Sara nearly drowned in the blue of them. Just like her father, Sara thought wildly. At least, if Grissom was to be her father…

Sara didn't think that Grissom really wanted a child now, and the thought of it broke her heart. Sure, he'd wanted marriage…but a baby? He was a bit past that stage in his life, and he probably didn't want to wake up at odd hours every night to tend to a child.

But he would make such a wonderful father…

With a smile, Sara tickled the baby's stomach, enjoying the gurgled laughter that escaped her. "I think I will call you…Claire."

The baby smiled at her and reached out to play with her hair. "Yes," Sara said with a laugh. "You will be Claire…and if you and I are lucky, you will be Claire Grissom."

0 0 0

That afternoon Sara sat quietly with Claire in her arms in Grissom's backyard. It was covered in fresh cut green grass, with trees surrounding it, providing a perfect shady spot for them to sit.

Sara had laid out a soft yellow blanket and had brought out a couple of toys she had purchased for the baby. After about a half an hour of playing, Claire had gotten hungry, so Sara held her closely in her arms and fed her a bottle of formula.

Claire's eyes grew wide as she drank, clearly excited to sate her hunger. Sara watched with utter fascination at how the little girl's fingers gripped the bottle with a strength beyond her size.

"You are the most beautiful baby in the world." Sara whispered, kissing Claire's forehead lightly. "And you are my baby now..."

The child finished drinking and smiled up at Sara. Placing the bottle back in her baby bag, Sara began to pat the child's back to make sure she burped.

When she heard a quiet noise come out of Claire, Sara laughed and simply held her close, stroking her soft head gently.

Gil stood in the doorway, his eyes fixated on Sara and the child. He marveled at how natural she was with the baby, despite only being with her for a week or so. It was amazing how maternal instinct could just take over at a moments notice, and he was glad it did. Sara needed the child, just as badly as the child needed her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as he approached her. He stopped just short of the blanket, his hands in his pockets.

Sara glanced up, smiling at him. "I'm alright. Claire is doing wonderfully though."

"Claire?" Gil asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, that's the name I've given her." Sara replied, her eyes turning to the baby who now slept peacefully in her arms.

"It suits her." He said awkwardly, shuffling his feet. "So I assume you received good news from that detective in Bakersfield?"

A shadow fell over Sara's face at his words. "Not really…apparently my brother's girlfriend committed suicide as well. She was suffering from post-partum depression."

With a nod, Gil crossed his arms and glanced around his yard. He had figured as much. Not many women would let go of a baby so young, unless they felt that they hadn't had a choice.

"So when are you flying back home?" He said suddenly, his eyes still wandering.

Sara was taken aback by his words. "Home?"

"Back to San Francisco." He replied somewhat coldly. "I assume you'll take the child with you."

"Oh…" Sara bit her lip, looking down at the ground. "Well, I hadn't given it much thought, but if I'm causing you any trouble by being here then I'll arrange a flight for later this week."

"No, no, you're no trouble." Gil replied, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Take your time." he said as he walked back into the house.

Sara felt like her heart was made of lead. She had known all along that he would probably kick her out, but to hear him say it so coldly drove daggers through her heart. She had wanted so badly to make a family with him…to marry him and raise Claire with him…but then again, it had been her idea to leave in the first place back then, and now he probably figured she still wanted to.

But the truth was that she didn't. Suddenly Vegas didn't seem all that bad…San Francisco had it's own crime after all. Besides, the child changed everything. Sara had a future now, and a beautiful one, as the mother of this adorable little girl.

"We will just have to make him see." Sara said suddenly, kissing Claire's forehead softly. "We will make him understand how badly we want to stay, and then hopefully he will accept us."

Claire's eyes opened and she smiled at Sara, and suddenly anything seemed possible, even persuading the infamous Gil Grissom to take a wife and raise a family.

0 0 0

By then end of the week Sara felt as though Claire was really her own child. She had spent every waking minute with her, taking her places and simply enjoying being a mother. She had never realized just how much she wanted to have a baby until one was dropped into her hands, but now she couldn't understand how she had ever lived without her.

Sara didn't want to keep the baby on a graveyard shift schedule, so usually she and the girl went to bed just as Grissom was going into work, and then awoke when he came home, ready to fall asleep himself.

Because of this, Sara rarely saw the man she loved, and felt as though she'd never get the opportunity to talk to him about their situation.

God, how she wanted to stay, she thought sadly. But he would never believe her if she simply told him. There had to be something more that she could do.

On impulse, she decided to run to the store and buy Claire a cute spring dress and new shoes, and maybe a little hat. Skimming through the aisles of the department store, Claire fast asleep in her carrier, Sara discovered the perfect outfit.

It was a soft yellow dress with white lace lining the trim of the skirt. A tiny, white lamb decorated the front, sitting in light green grass. For shoes, Sara found strappy white sandals, small enough to barely fit over a couple of her fingers. To top it all off, she found a matching yellow sailors hat.

Satisfied with her choices, Sara paid for the clothes and dressed Claire in them. The little girl smiled at her reflection in the mirror as Sara tugged on her little shoes. Running a comb through Claire's dark brown hair, Sara smiled at the overall result.

"You look beautiful, little one." She smiled, kissing the girl's forehead, as was her habit of late. "Now, what can we do about me?"

Claire smiled at her, tugging at Sara's hair gently.

"Oh yes, I probably should do something with my hair." She laughed, running the comb through her own wild curls. Deciding they were tame enough, she approached the department store photographer and chose a background for their picture.

When she and the child were seated comfortably, Claire resting peacefully in Sara's arms, the photographer snapped the picture.

Later, when she picked up the photos, Sara felt her eyes well up with tears. "We look like a family." She said softly, running tender fingers down Claire's cheek. "Now, to implement the second part of the plan."

0 0 0

When Grissom returned home the next morning from a long night at the lab, he entered the kitchen to get a drink of water. What he noticed on the counter had him stopping short.

The photograph sat in a simple black frame, propped up so he would see it. In the picture Sara smiled at him, with little Claire tucked safely in her arms. Gil's heart seemed to stop beating as he stared at it with intent eyes.

Suddenly he noticed a note that sat beside the picture, written in Sara's lovely handwriting on a piece of stationary.

_Gil,_

_We hope that you like this photo, and that you will _

_place it on your desk at work so you can look at us _

_whenever you want. _

_Love,_

_Your girls_

His lips curved into a smile as he re-read the note. Sara had always been a very considerate person, he thought sadly. But this time she seemed to see things so one sided.

How could he give in to this family idea when he had no idea if she was going to stay or not? He could see himself accepting her and Claire, only to have Sara have another anxiety attack and leave a month down the line. And he didn't think he could bear her leaving again, especially if he became attached to Claire.

With a sigh he replaced the photo and note on the countertop and walked into his bedroom. Sara slept peacefully, curled up under the covers. Gil felt more distraught than ever as he watched her through tired eyes. She was such a beautiful person...he could never see himself this close to any other woman. And yet he continually pushed her away from him out of fear for his own heart.

Completely exhausted, he tried to push the thoughts out of his mind as he undressed and slipped into bed beside her. He also tried to ignore the warmth she exuded, something he had grown so accustomed to. Closing his eyes, he felt his body finally relax into restful sleep.

Sara's eyes flew open, but she didn't dare move. She was almost certain that Grissom had seen the photograph, and yet he hadn't woken her to say anything about it. What if he doesn't like it? She thought with a heavy heart. What if she'd made a mistake and only pushed him further away from her?

Shaking her head softly, she felt a lone tear fall down her cheek.

0 0 0

That's all for now!! Don't worry, there's plenty more to come very soon. Thanks once more for all of the reviews!


	5. Hope

Sara sat lazily on the sofa, the television remote in her hand as she numbly skimmed the channels. Claire slept quietly beside her in her bassinet, her soft teddy bear clutched tightly in her arms. Sara glanced over at her new daughter and smiled.

Suddenly Gil stepped out of the bedroom, freshly showered and dressed, and walked into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Sara watched him closely, hurt that he didn't seem to acknowledge her at all.

Resigned, she returned her gaze to the television set and stared blankly at the screen. There had to be more that she could do, she thought sadly. How else could she prove to Grissom that she wouldn't leave this time? That she really wanted to stay?

When he finished preparing a salad and sandwich for himself and sat down at the dining table to eat, Sara sighed.

Maybe cooking for him would do the trick, she mused. Then again, she wasn't a very good cook, and would probably burn the house down. That would be the worst way to make him take notice of her intentions...

A few minutes later, Gil finished eating and rose to clean up. Grabbing his keys and briefcase, he moved towards the door.

Sara glanced up at him and noticed his hand on the door.

"Don't forget your picture." She called out flatly, her eyes meeting his as he turned.

"Right." He replied. He walked to the kitchen counter and lifted the frame, staring at it for a moment. Sara averted her gaze back to the television.

Gil shifted his eyes to Sara, and paused for a second, unsure of what to say. Horribly awkward, he muttered goodbye to her and left, shutting the door softly behind him.

Sara tried to fight back the tears that threatened her. She wouldn't cry again for him today, she had to be strong. She clearly wasn't doing enough...or maybe she was doing too much?

Frustrated, she shut off the television and stood up, pacing frantically. Men, she thought spitefully. They were so ridiculous!

Then again, she was awfully ridiculous herself most of the time. She couldn't blame poor Gil for worrying about her leaving again, but damnit, he needed to see that she was serious!

Suddenly, an idea came to her. An idea that was perhaps her last resort.

0 0 0

Gil drove in silence, his mind racing. How could he be so foolish? He thought wildly, his hands clenched on the steering wheel. Sara was back, and she claimed it was for good.

She wants him, and wants him to be a father to Claire. He couldn't ask for more in this life.

His paradise was right in front of him, being dangled like a carrot, and he was too much of a coward to embrace it. He could slap himself for being so careless.

He was doing nothing but pushing Sara away from him. Did he want her to leave? Not at all, he admitted to himself. He wanted exactly what she offered, and yet he couldn't bring himself to be brave enough to accept her.

Suddenly he slammed on his brakes and pulled over, his mind racing. He had to go back. He had to get back to her, to tell her now how he felt and what he wanted. To tell her that he has forgiven her, and that he wants her to stay.

Turning his car around, he sped off back down the street towards home. He only hoped that Sara would still be there when he returned.

0 0 0

Sara walked across the street with Claire in her carrier, a bag of diapers and food in her arms. Approaching the neighbors door, she knocked lightly.

Catherine opened the door and smiled at Sara.

"Hey," Catherine said, opening the door so Sara could step inside.

"Thank you for taking her on such short notice, it should only be for a couple hours at the most." Sara said gratefully, placing the carrier in Catherine's arms.

"It's no problem." Catherine replied, her eyes falling to the sleeping child.

Sara smiled and turned towards the door. "Thanks again."

Once back at Gil's townhome, she began to lay candles out by the tub and to search for romantic music. Grissom was only working a 3 hour shift that night, and she could only hope that he wouldn't be late.

Humming to herself, she began trying on different lingerie outfits she owned, few as they were, and decided on a simple black silk camisole with matching panties. Feeling encouraged, she modeled herself in front of the mirror, ruffling her hair and posing.

"So this is what you do when I go to work." A voice said from the doorway to the bedroom. Sara jumped.

"Gil!" She gasped, suddenly feeling exposed and embarrassed. "I thought you worked till eight!"

Gil smirked, taking in the scene. Candles in the bathroom (he saw them as he walked in) and Sara dancing around in the sexiest lingerie he had ever seen her wear. Something told him he had made an excellent choice in coming home.

"I decided it was more important to come back here and apologize to you." He said sincerely, walking towards her and cupping his hands over her elbows. The familiar gesture he so rarely did anymore sent chills through her. Her lips parted in surprise as he leaned in for a tender kiss.

"Apologize?" She murmured as his lips grazed over her own, caressing them gently.

"For being foolish." He replied simply, pulling away to stare into her eyes. "I was afraid to accept you into my life again, after what had happened before...and I was especially afraid to accept Claire. But I'm not now. Now I see clearly that there is nothing else I want in life."

Sara felt her eyes fill with tears. He could be so sweet sometimes...

"Gil, I-"

"Just tell me that you will accept me too, awkward, insecure fool that I am." His hands traced up her arms and came up to cup her face. "Tell me, Sara."

"I accept you."

"And I to you." He whispered, leaning in for another kiss. Suddenly she pulled away.

"I'm sorry, but this is just too easy." She said, her lips curving into a grin. "There is one last step to this journey of ours, my love, before we can officially settle down."

"What's that?" He asked curiously, a smirk on his face.

She smiled broadly and kissed him once more, and then fell to one knee. She reached up for his hand and held it tightly. Their eyes found eachother and held as if the world stood still.

"Gil Grissom, will you still marry me?"

He nearly blushed and couldn't help but smile back at her. He kneeled down in front of her and gently squeezed the hand he held. "Yes." He said softly, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Yes, I will."

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Later that night, Sara lay in Gil's arms, her head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck. He lazily stroked her arm with his free hand and held her close with his other. Sara sighed and felt as though she had never been more content.

"So, my love, when shall we tie the knot?" Gil said softly, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. She grinned and stared up at him.

"I'm thinking as soon as possible...I don't want you to get away." She replied, kissing his lips gently.

He laughed and held her closer. "Likewise, I guess."

"Oh, you don't need to worry about me anymore...I've found my home, and I never intend to leave it."

"I'm glad." He shifted and left the bed, walking over to where the tiny cradle sat by the window. Reaching in, he lifted a sleeping Claire and stood there for a moment with the young girl in his arms.

Sara watched him with sheer pleasure as he gazed at the tiny baby with such fascination and love. Suddenly, he began to walk back towards the bed, still holding Claire, and laid back down. Placing the girl between he and Sara, they both snuggled up to each other, encircling the little life they were to raise together.

"She is ours, now." Sara whispered, stroking the girl's soft hair.

"Ours." Gil said softly, surprised at how natural everything felt. The woman beside him and the child who was now his daughter. A daughter he had never even planned to have, and yet now he couldn't imagine his life without her.

"What do you think she will be when she grows up?" Sara asked with a grin, eyeing Grissom.

"I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure that she's not afraid of bugs."

Sara laughed wholeheartedly and glanced down at the girl. "Well, I guess there's no keeping science out of her life, since we are both so obsessed with it."

"What will you do, Sara?" Gil asked then, looking at her with serious eyes. "Now that you won't work CSI."

Sara thought for a moment. She had considered a few options, but Claire took up most of her time and thoughts. "Unless you object to it, I'd like to stay at home with Claire most of the time...maybe write a book or something."

Gil smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"And then, once she starts school, maybe I'll consider returning to the lab. I do love science, afterall."

"I would like that too." He ran his hand down her arm to cup her elbow, enjoying the way her eyes darkened and her lips parted ever so slightly. "I love you, Sara."

"I love you too." She replied, leaning over to kiss his lips softly. The sleeping child between them muttered a soft noise as she tossed a little in her sleep. "And Claire loves you, as well."

"As I do her."

The End

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Sorry it took me so long to post everyone!! I've been trying to find a new apartment to move into and finals are coming up so...not much time or energy to write! However, I'm done now, at least with this story. I hope you all enjoyed it and I appreciate everyones reviews! There is going to be a sequel to this story, probably called She's Like the Wind, and it's going to be about Warrick and Catherine if anyone's interested!! Anyways, thanks so much for reading!!


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